Seafarer’s Special

Arrr, me hearties, it be talk like a pirate day* and do yer know what that means?

It means it’s time t’ batten down the hatches an’ bring out the Reading Chilli Fest booty fer a special, themed review, featurin’ Simpson’s Seeds’ Funky Monkey.

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Because no salty see dog would be caught dead without such a loveable rapscallion on deck.

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Translated from Pirate

Greetings, spice lovers, today is talk like a pirate day* and I’m sure you know what that means.

It means it’s time for me to put in a little extra effort and bring you a themed review of another special Reading item.

But, this isn’t that review. This is a rough translation of it. The real review I wrote for you took far more time and effort, learning how to not only talk like a pirate but also spell so.

I would, therefore, love for you to check out today’s true post and appreciate my working hard for your amusement.

Some of you, however, may struggle to read its more seafaring speak so I have included this version for you. If you’re sure that you don’t wish to read this review the way it was intended then, by all means, read on.

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Extract of Flavour

Today, everyone, I’d like us to take a look at another item from Grim Reaper Food’s gift box. Something that I didn’t want to talk too much about at the time, for fear of ruining the company’s biggest surprise.

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You see, what we have here may be a scary little bottle of extract but it’s not like the rest of its kind. It’s not about the heat.

No, unlike most extracts, the Grim Reaper’s Raging Goblin isn’t a concentrated resin of extreme chilli firepower. In fact, it isn’t concentrated at all. It is hotter than the chillies it was made from but that’s only due to the loss of their flesh.

Because what this product actually is is jalapeño juice. All the oils, both heat and flavour, from a good number of green jalapeños, mixed with a little bit of lime.

And it all comes packaged in a black-tinted aromatherapy oil bottle.

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